I CAN MOONWALK!
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
