so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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