He is an equal opportunity slut.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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