Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize