Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I could fuck to npr.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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