I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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