so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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