We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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