She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
