i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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