Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
