hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize