So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
