sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
