we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
