So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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