If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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