He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
