she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
