So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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