i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
