They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so let's talk penis.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
