I think i sorta joined a cult last night
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
