do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
