Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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