you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
