Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
