I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Your penis caused this!
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