Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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