This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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