Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
