I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
