and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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