3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
