what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize