sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm sobbing to NWA
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
