He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
