When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
