Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I am available for nakedness
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
