I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
