he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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