Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
