Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
