we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
