we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
