Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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