you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize