38 yer olds are good kisserssss
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My liver just had a heart attack.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize