It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
