if you like me you must not know who I am
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
