We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
