Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
