I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize