There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
