If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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