he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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