she looked like the before picture.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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