Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
it was like having sex with a tree stump
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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